Better musical writing thanks to sabermetric analysis



Despite all our perceived modernity, the mechanisms and tangible philosophies behind musical writing remain perfectly traditionalist. We are not Hector Berlioz, we do not deconstruct symphonies, we write about what pop songs make us feel. It’s okay, pop songs exist for us to feel them, but when you consider how something like sports writing has slowly evolved into strict statistical analysis from simple newspaper profiles, our music review processes. may seem a little unstable. Maybe it’s because I read a lot of old people The late Joe Morgan recent posts, but what if there was a sabermetric set of advanced analyzes to assess music at a true mathematical level? Wouldn’t that be the right thing to do? And who better to design these formulas than a major in History of 22 years? Please allow me to jump into the next era of music writing.

Hook ratio

Where: LH = length of combined hooks, LA = length of album, HR = ratio of hooks

The Hook Ratio is a numerical representation of the density and percentage of an album based on the hook, as opposed to the padding. We simply add up the time of all the hooks on an album and divide by the total length of an album. Comparatively, this should show which albums are the most effective at rock your shit. I think if you put the new Disclosure album in that formula it would come out perfect.

Old World Bias Quotient


Where: PR = Pitchfork rating, RS = Rolling Stone rating, NS = number of synthesizers, NMC = number of “musicianship” claims in review text, OWB = old world bias quotient

I’m sure they are all comparable integers. Once we find the difference between Pitchfork’s Review Score and Rolling Stone’s Review Score, it can easily be compared to the presence of the synthesizer, as well as hazy discussions of why laptops are not instruments. The Old World bias quotient is especially crucial when reading David Fricke.

Social Political Perception Weight Proportionality


Where: IQ = Social charge interview quotes, IL = Social charge intelligible words, AAR = Relevance of album cover, PSPW = Perceived social political weight.

Sometimes it’s hard to say exactly how political an artist’s “political” album is. Just how much Shake the usual have to do with gender issues? Fortunately, with our practical and dandy formula, you can tell if you will look like a fool if you call Titus Andronicus “revolutionary”.

Feminist Buzz Range


Where: BT = Blog Traction, PTT = Pelly Twin Tweets, DMT = Devon Maloney Tweets, JHT = Jessica Hopper Tweets, MJT = Maura Johnston Tweets, FBR = Feminist Buzz Range.

Want to know how relevant Waxahatchee is on a specific scale? Do not worry! With our advanced equation, we use several important voices to gain insight into what you should be listening to in order to stay invulnerable on Twitter.

Too old for this constant


Where: WL = Whiny Lyrics, TM = Tumblr Mentions, A = Your Age, TOTC = Too Old For This Constant

Sometimes it’s hard to know if you can wear a Pedro the Lion shirt in public. It is a problem that faces thousands of independent brothers every day. By finding the constant Too Old for This for a group, you can easily determine if the risk is worth it. Make sure you don’t put Neutral Milk Hotel in this formula if you are over 16, as this equates to dividing by zero.

Is it “to be lucky? “


Where: P = Pharrell, AGL = Awesome Guitar Line, GUS = Gloriously Un-Self-Aware Schmaltz

Hooray! Now you can always tell if the song you are listening to is “Get Lucky”.

Luke Winkie is 10,110 in binary. He’s on Twitter – @luc_winkie

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